I don’t know why, but death has been on my mind a lot lately. I’m only 36 years old and I feel like my best life is behind me and my time is almost up. I don’t know if death itself scares me as much as what’s going to happen after. I have spent a good number of years saving money into a ministry fund for me to donate to various charities, I would absolutely hate it if I died and that “ministry” died. I’d hate to see all my stuff I have (and I do have a lot of stuff unfortunately right now) gets thrown out in the trash instead of being given to those in need and helping those who have less. A little bit of me is nervous about what they’ll do with my body even. Sometimes when I have these thoughts, I do cry because I am scared sometimes. But, it is what it is, we all go sometime. I just keep trying to do a little more every day to help make people smile, make people laugh, make people happy. I have been misunderstood in this life, I have been thought of as a “weirdo” or whatever you want to say… but I like to think at the end of my time, those people will see what I’ve been working on and understand that my “weirdness” is a unique thing that I have used to create a better world, a light that I have shined into the darkness to bring forth an important light that can lead others into being who they are and not being afraid of standing out. We are created for a purpose, we are meant for bigger things. My overall goal in life is to have an overflowing funeral with people that I have helped in one way or another. Just wait and see, you’ll understand.